When Sinners Say I Do – Chapter 3 – “The Fog of War and the Law of Sin”

Key Ideas:

This chapter is about better understanding the nature of sin and learning how to respond to it.

The nature of sin is war. Sin creates war—war with God, war with others, and war within yourself. (46)

War with God (Rom. 8:7; James 4:4; Rom. 5:10)

War within yourself (Gal. 5:17; Rom. 7:23)

War with others – like, say, your spouse (James 4:1-2)

The cause of our marriage battles, friends, is neither our marriage nor our spouse. It’s the sin in our hearts—entirely, totally, exclusively, without exception. (51)

Our real opponent is not on the opposite side of the bed, but within our hearts. (58)

(Reminder: Dave Harvey did a number of short videos summarizing the contents of the chapters. This video covers chapters 2-4.)

When Sinners Say I Do - Preface (and the point of the book)

Marriage is the union of two people who arrive toting the luggage of life. And that luggage always contains sin. Often it gets opened right there on the honeymoon, sometimes it waits…We must not ignore our sin, because it is the very context where the gospel shines brightest. 

Which leads me to the point of this book. When Sinners Say “I Do” is not a depressing thought. It recognizes that to get to the heart of marriage, we must deal with the heart of sin. A great pastor once said, “Till sin be bitter, Christ will not be sweet.” …

I think there’s a powerful application for marriage here: When sin becomes bitter, marriage becomes sweet. When the sin we bring to marriage becomes real to us, then the gospel becomes vital and marriage becomes sweet. (15-16, emphasis mine)

Related quote from a bit later on: 

What if you abandoned the idea that the problems and weaknesses in your marriage are caused by a lack of information, dedication, or communication? What if you saw your problems as they truly are: caused by a war within your own heart? (29)

Ponder the following texts with specific application to your marriage:

• James 4:1-12  
• Galatians 5:13-26