Why is it that we often feel most anxious or guilty or
defeated or depressed or blah first thing in the morning?
I wonder how often it’s because all we have in the
morning is yesterday’s mistakes.
“Why did I
say that?!”
“I can’t
believe I did that!”
“I can’t
believe I gave in to that temptation…again.”
“I can’t
believe I spent that much time scrolling Instagram last night.”
“That was a
waste of money.”
“I wish I
wouldn’t have watched that show.”
“Ugh! I forgot to ______, again.”
“Haven’t got to that yet, or that,
or that…or that…or that…or
that!”
“I just can’t seem to keep up at
work.”
“The
finances are still a mess.”
“The house
is still a mess.”
“My life is
still a mess.”
“(fill in
your failure de jour)”
Yesterday’s failures and folly crowd around us at the foot
of the bed, or just outside the shower. And crowding in just behind them are
the failures and procrastinations from the last 3-6 months. A great crowd of
witnesses to your worthlessness.
We wake up and the weights and sins and burdens are right
there waiting to pile on. And we don’t yet have today’s activity yet to help
shake them off, or counterbalance them. (Is jumping into the spin class of
anxiety an attempt to feel like we’re “doing something about it”?)
If this crowd doesn’t disperse for you until the busyness
and productivity of the day gets going, then that’s just the problem.
Our early morning burdens can be a set up for the soul
twisting effects of self-justification. We contort ourselves to get a glimpse
of our “good side” in the mirror of our self-reflection. We bend over backwards
to shift the blame. We scramble to leave our guilt and regrets in the dust. Or,
we beat ourselves up and hope the self-flagellation salves our guilty
conscience. We have so much to prove, so much to lose. No wonder we’re so tired
and weary.
Perhaps these burdensome early morning moments are ordained
by God to teach you the gospel. Perhaps a big part of our problem is that we
don’t face our first moments like Christians. We face them like everyone else
who is trying their best to outrun and shake off and fight off their burdens
and failures.
But it’s not our battle to fight.
Our early morning burdens are a set-up to strengthen us by
means of justification by faith. Believing the gospel is the early morning
exercise routine we all need, every morning.
What if we woke up and worked on tuning our hearts to believe,
and then sing, this gospel grace? (Don’t let the familiarity of the words dull
you to their power.)
Rock of Ages, cleft
for me,
Let me hide myself
in Thee;
Let the water and
the blood,
From Thy riven side
which flowed,
Be of sin the double
cure,
Save me from its
guilt and power.
Not the labor of my
hands
Can fulfill Thy
law’s demands;
Could my zeal no
respite know,
Could my tears
forever flow,
All could never sin
erase,
Thou must save, and
save by grace.
Nothing in my hands
I bring,
Simply to Thy cross
I cling;
Naked, come to Thee
for dress,
Helpless, look to
Thee for grace:
Foul, I to the
fountain fly,
Wash me, Savior, or
I die.
What might happen if you read (sung?) those lyrics and then Matthew
11:28-30 and Lamentations 3:21-25, first thing, every morning, for a month?
Matthew 11:28-30 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I
will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle
and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy,
and my burden is light."
Lamentations 3:21-25 But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The
steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they
are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. "The LORD is my
portion," says my soul, "therefore I will hope in him." The LORD
is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him.
Your God and Savior says his mercies are new every
morning. He doesn’t say his favor is available to the high achievers and
winners.
Our hands that are empty of activity in the early morning (even
if they are full of failures and regrets and burdens) can remind us that
“Nothing in my hands I bring, simply to the cross I cling.” That’s how we began
this race of faith when we woke from our spiritual stupor and saw the glory of
Jesus, our rest-giving redeemer. That’s also how we make progress in this race, each and every day, as we
wake in need of fresh mercy. And that’s how we will faithfully
finish the course, eyes fixed on the pioneer and perfecter of our faith, waking from death to see him face to face.
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