When Sinners Say I Do - Ch 1 "What Really Matters In Marriage"

Key Idea: “What we believe about God determines the quality of our marriage.” (20)

What kind of theologian are you? It’s not hard to tell. Whether we realize it or not, our ideas about life, needs, marriage, romance, conflict, and everything else reveal themselves all the time in our words and deeds, inevitably reflecting our view of God. If you listen closely, theology spills from our lips every day. (20)

Think back through this last week or month with your spouse. 
What do your words and thoughts and attitudes and actions reveal about your view of God?

What do they say about your functional theology (i.e. not just what you say you believe, but the view of God actually being played out on the field of your thoughts and words and attitudes and actions)?

For example:

• If you are harsh and exacting, what does that reveal about your view of God?

• If you are passive and often want to be left alone, what does that say about your view of God?

Theology of Marriage (three of the most important components):

1) The Foundation of Your Marriage – The Bible (22-23)

“[The Bible] is both the evaluative standard for marriage and the key to joy in marriage.” (23)

Has the Bible shaped your view of the meaning and practice of marriage?

Does the Bible regularly inform, guide, and correct your marriage life?

Marriage is God’s wise creation.  It’s his idea.  He knows, therefore, why he made it (purpose) and how it works best (practice). We will necessarily have a superficial and misguided view of marriage if we do not learn it from him…through his Word.

Ponder Gen. 1:26-31; 2:15-3:24

Ponder Eph. 5:22-33

2) The Fountain of Your Marriage – The Gospel (24-25)

The gospel is the power for Christian marriage (e.g. 1 John 4:19).

The gospel is the pattern for Christian marriage (e.g. Eph. 5:22-33).

The gospel is the purpose of Christian marriage (e.g. Eph. 5:31-32).

In other words, the gospel is really important for your marriage.

Do you believe that? Are you learning to live that?

3) The Focus of Your Marriage – The Glory of God (25-28)

Marriage is not first about me or my spouse. Obviously, the man and woman are essential, but they are also secondary. God is the most important person in a marriage. Marriage is for our good, but it is first for God’s glory. (25)

God has invested so much glory in marriage. It is intended to reflect the glory of the gospel. So much glory is at stake. And yet this will not come easy.

Given our sin nature that is spring-loaded to fall short of the glory of God (see Rom. 3:23); given that we naturally exchange the glory of God for lesser things (see Jer. 2:11-13 & Rom. 1:22-25); given that Satan hates the glory of God and loves to take aim at anything intended to reflect it, we’re in for an uphill battle.

In other words, marriage is war. But we ought not to fight each other. We ought to fight our sin and the lies and temptations of the Enemy of marriage-to-the-glory-of-God. If anything is worth fighting for, it is the glory of God!

Reminder: 1 Cor. 10:31 applies to marriage.