McGarvey Christmas Letter

Dear Friends and Family,

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!

I don't know who "they" are, but they say a picture is worth a thousands words. We're going for a serious "word count" this year by letting a slug of pictures tell our 2013 story.

It all started by ringing in the New Year (no, our kids are not wine-bibbers...that's grape juice):

So, what did 2013 look like for us?

I don't know about your house, but oftentimes our kids are literally bouncing off the walls:

If you visited the kitchen, you might see this (thankfully, Ben has yet to have his evening bath via the rinse cycle!):

Or this:

 
Speaking of the McGarvey kitchen:

Okay, that was totally unfair. Beth is a great cook. And can you really trust this guy's taste buds? He's been known to have a propensity for pigskin! And toe jam! And garden tools!

Seriously, God provided our daily bread EVERY DAY in 2013! How easy it is to take that for granted! To simply take it as a given, as if it is a right and not a gift. Every meal is a gift. What grace to be able to say grace 3 times a day 365 days a year! We are grateful!


Ben started walking in early 2013:

We had TONS of interesting visitors in 2013.

Batman flew in...er, on.

Spiderman swung by.
It took awhile to clean up what the Webslinger's slung.
Sticky stuff. Goo Gone is the trick.

Darth Vader darkened our door.
He's much shorter in person.

This is Stan. He's a starfish. He's Italian (with a pretty strong accent). He's quite the globetrotter, but he periodically visits our kids on Saturday mornings if he's on the East Coast.

The Janho's came all the way from Seattle so Steve could get some Chick-fil-A.

Grandparents came to visit (YEAH!):

Ben typically plays pretty nice...

The kids love playing card games with Ama!

But here's what happens if you try to take his yellow truck. He flipped Papa Judo-style and pinned him in no time flat. Notice that Papa is no longer holding the yellow truck. Ben would like you all to know - Papa never tried that "Can I see your truck?" trick again.

Nana with the girls, when we visited Longwood Gardens

Enjoying a coffee date with my sweet momma

There were dance parties:

There were injuries:

Hannah. Bike chain.

Mommy's eye got a little too close to Ben's finger.

Be careful around the treadmill - esp when your 6 yr old brother is using it when he shouldn't be (we've got to give him credit though - he thought enough to shut the thing off before running to get us).

There were fortuitous discoveries:

Ben, Do you like beef jerky?

"Mmmm...Beef jerky!"

There were house projects:

Sam learned a little plumbing, and in the process started a new dance craze. It's all the rage.

There were epic battles and fell deeds:

There were arts and crafts:

Caption contest! What is Sam thinking and saying in this moment?

Beth is my "excellent wife [whose] lamp does not go out at night." In addition to trying to keep up with the perpetually rolling foothills of laundry and the incessant culinary demands of this growing brood, she has, among other things, enjoyed hosting her ladies Bible study group and coaching Hannah's basketball team.

Hannah is now in (and enjoying) youth group, loves volleyball, basketball, a variety of other athletic activities, as well as arts and crafts of all sorts. Along with all the other kids, summer vacation in Grand Haven, MI topped the "favorites" chart. She loves racing down the dune and all the fun on the beach. She did not love the deer tick we found one day on the base of her skull!

Sam is...Batman (see above). He loves action movies and Lego's and has grown in his appreciation for weapons and munitions of all sorts (he would LOVE to get his hunting license). For you Duck Dynasty fans out there, he'd love to hang out with Uncle Si sometime.

Lily is still our sweet, energetic, athletic flower. She can be found climbing a tree, planting flowers and garden varieties or tending the flora, role-playing the teacher in "school," roller blading, jumping, bounding, and smiling. She had been begging for awhile to play the violin, and finally got her wish this year!

Jono can oft be found sporting camo attire, gloves (we're not sure what that fixation is all about), and/or a superhero suit. In his own words, he likes "the Steelers (I did not prompt him!), Lego's, Sunday ('Why, buddy?' 'You know, cuz church!'), Jesus, candy, Christmas. Yeah, that's about it." I believe that was a stream of consciousness answer, not in order of priority.

Ben is a two year old, one man wrecking crew. He loves dirt, sand (esp in MI on vacation - his words were, "feels good...touch it...toes"), John Deere, cha-lock-a-late, big tractors, trains, and trucks.

All that and we've just scratched the surface! There was so much more in 2013. There have been lots of ups and downs and challenges and heartaches, but most of all there have been megatons of the mercy and grace and faithfulness of God!

It's hard to believe we've already been in DE four and half years. We are very grateful to God for moving us here. We love our church family. Chris is so thankful for the sobering privilege of being a pastor here. In that role, and in all we are and do, we've seen more clearly than ever our great need for the all-sufficient grace of our God.

We are SO thankful for the Lord Jesus! He is the only reason God's all-sufficient grace is ours for the taking. We have no right to it apart from his life and death and resurrection. He is everything to us, and so we love to celebrate the Advent (coming) of our Savior!

Why did he come?
John 10:10-11:

... I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.

Why did he lay down his life?
Isaiah 53:6:

All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned--everyone--to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all.

Why did the LORD lay our sin on him?
1 Peter 2:24-25:

He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed. For you were straying like sheep, but have now returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.

What happens when we return to the Good Shepherd?
Psalm 23:1-6:

The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

THAT is "good news of great joy...for all the people!"

With much love,
The McGarveys
Chris, Beth, Hannah (13), Sam (11), Lily (9), Jono (6), Ben (2)

Motherhood

Celebrate motherhood. Honor mothers. It's incessant, hard, wonderful work. This is a beautiful tribute.



Proverbs 31:15-31

She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household... Her lamp does not go out at night. ... She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: "Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all." Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.

HT: JT

Husbands: How to Come Home

You've had a long day. You're on your way home. You're probably tired and hungry and want some food and peace and quiet. You might want to veg out in front of the TV and not have to think about or respond to or deal with anything. 

But...

...If you're married, your wife probably wants to talk. She may have had a bad day, or she may have some concerns she needs to talk out, or she may "just" have a honey-do list and some attendant expectations. She may not have gotten to everything in the house and it's not the perfectly ordered kingdom you want it to (always) be.

...If you've got kids that are still in the home, they may want dad for one thing or and another. They may want to spit up on or climb on or play with or read with or throw the ball to or talk to you. They may want to show you their latest Lego creation or art project. Or, they may be a little older and want to be left alone in their room or in their earbuds. 

Should you come in and bark at the little ones nipping at your heels so that they will quietly heel at your heels? Should you ignore your wife, maybe covertly by saying "uh huh" periodically even though you haven't heard a word she's said? Should you retreat to the man cave or the bathroom or the garage? 

Husbands (and fathers), we will very naturally come home empty and spring-loaded to selfishness. How do we fight that selfish set of the sails? How do we tack into the wind of needs in our homes? How do we come home set to serve and help and lead and protect? And how to do we do it from the heart, not with a "I'm such a sacrificial martyr" and "you need to know how much this is costing me" huff and puff?

You want "peace" and comfort.

You should serve and help and lead and protect.

Let me suggest a simple two 'R's' strategy. In the moment of temptation to selfish, save-your-life retreat and avoidance:  

1. Recognize that Jesus IS your peace and comfort (not food or TV or newspaper or porn or whatever)

There's nothing wrong with being hungry and wanting food. It's a good gift from God. But it's not a good god or source of peace and comfort.

There's nothing wrong with watching some sports or the news (though most TV is a waste of life at best and more often like a steady drip of intravenous worldliness that anesthetizes your soul) or reading the newspaper. But it's not a good god or source of peace and comfort. It will actually make you more restless.

There's everything wrong with porn. If you don't recognize that Jesus IS your peace and comfort and your soul is groping for peace and comfort, you're going to be extremely vulnerable to the deceitful lies that our sensate culture sells. You'll sit lifeless in front of the TV, grunt something in response when your wife tells you she's going to bed, and then heap burning coals into your lap as you channel surf "out of curiosity" or surf the web, hoodwinking yourself into thinking that you're not trolling for some titillation.

None of these things will ever BE your peace and comfort. They simply can't. They aren't able to deliver. Only Jesus IS or can be your peace and comfort. You need to recognize that IN THE MOMENT OF TEMPTATION. 

2. Run to Jesus AS your peace and comfort (not to food or TV or newspaper or porn or whatever)

You ARE going to run to SOMETHING when you're troubled or restless or irritated or angry or frustrated or anxious or disappointed. What do you tend to run to? Alcohol? Food? TV? Your phone? Movies? Work? What you run to is what you believe will deliver peace and comfort. And none of the above ever will. You need to, you must!, run to Jesus AS your peace and comfort.

In the moment of temptation, when you turn FROM Jesus to other functional deliverers, you will also turn FROM those in your home that you are called to love and serve and lead and protect. When you run TO Jesus as your peace and comfort (and strength and joy, etc.), his grace will fill you and empower you to run TO those in your home that need your love and service and leadership and protection. And you'll be running in the strength He supplies (sans huffing and puffing).

Here's the summary: 
* Spring-loaded to selfishness.
* Strong winds of family need blowing.
* You want to sail away.
* Stop and recognize that Jesus is your comfort and peace. No fleeing. There is grace for this.
* Run to Jesus as your comfort and peace. Sometimes this is as simple as praying in the car on the way home. Sometimes it's as simple as throwing up brief prayers for grace as the needs come your way and you want to fight or flee.
* Start tacking into the wind of needs.
* The Spirit will blow and fill those sails.
* And the peace of Christ will begin to rule your heart...and begin to fill your home.

You Can't Please Everyone

It's been said a million times, "You can't please everyone." And yet many of us try, often over-committing and running ourselves into the ground, or compromising our integrity to keep people happy. Everyday the desire to please will drive you. How do you decide who to please, when you can't please everyone?

The Bible has a lot to say about the matter, but let me simply suggest two texts to hold onto - one for each hand - as you walk this treacherous road.

1) Galatians 1:10

For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.

2) 1 Corinthians 10:33

just as I try to please everyone in everything I do, not seeking my own advantage, but that of many, that they may be saved.

Ray Ortlund, Jr. wisely puts these two texts together like this (emphasis added):

[H]ere is now [the Apostle Paul] reconciled his desire to please people, on the one hand, with his deeper desire to please God, on the other. When Paul faced a choice between pleasing himself and pleasing others, he pleased others. When he faced a choice between pleasing others and pleasing God, he pleased God.

From his seminar given at the 2011 Gospel Coalition National Conference entitled, "Justification versus Self-justification."

Wondering (or Worried) About The Debt Ceiling?

Here's a helpful little list of FAQs on the debt ceiling debate, from a Christian perspective.

Crazy Busy Quotes

A few months ago, Crossway sent a pre-publication copy of Crazy Busy: A (Mercifully) Short Book About a (Really) Big Problem by Kevin DeYoung. The book became available on Monday.

I know you might feel like you don't have time for another book, but let me encourage you to check out this one.

First, by means of a fun little promo video:


Crazy Busy - Kids' Edition from Crossway on Vimeo.

Second, a dozen quotes to coax you to make time in your crazy busy schedule to read the rest of this helpful little book:

"The presence of extreme busyness in our lives may point to deeper problems--a pervasive people-pleasing, a restless ambition, a malaise of meaninglessness. 'Busyness serves as a kind of existential reassurance, a hedge against emptiness,' writes Tim Kreidel in his viral article, "The 'Busy' Trap," for the New York Times. 'Obviously your life cannot possibly be silly or trivial or meaningless if you are so busy, completely booked, in demand every hour of the day.' The greatest danger with busyness is that there may be greater dangers you never have time to consider." (32)

 "...the truth is, you're only indispensable until you say no. You are unique. Your gifts are important. ... But you're not irreplaceable." (36)

"Let's face it: people feel sorry for us when we're busy. If we get our lives under control, we won't seem nearly so impressive and people won't ooh and aah over our burdens. Many of us feel proud to be so busy, and we enjoy the sympathy we receive for enduring such heroic responsibilities." (37)

"As I try to discern what's people-pleasing, self-aggrandizing pride, and what's genuine service to others, I try to keep in mind this simple question: Am I trying to do good or to make myself look good?" (39)

"What's important...is to think about what really ought to matter compared to what really is mattering. ... We will have to work hard to rest. ... We will have to make it our mission to stay on mission." (57)

"Rather than figure out what to do with our spare minutes and hours, we are content to swim in the shallows and pass our time with passing the time." (82)

"Peter Kreeft is right: 'We want to be harried and hassled and busy. Unconsciously, we want the very things we complain about. For if we had leisure, we would look at ourselves and listen to our hearts and see the great gaping hole in our hearts and be terrified, because that hole is so big that nothing but God can fill it.'" (83)

"The biggest deception of our digital age may be the lie that says we can be omni-competent, omni-informed, and omni-present. We cannot be any of these things. We must choose our absence, our inability, and our ignorance--and choose wisely. The sooner we embrace this finitude, the sooner we can be free." (88)

"Many of us are less busy than we think, but life feels constantly overwhelming because our days and weeks and years have no rhythm. ...one of the dangers of technology is that work and rest blend together in a confusing mush. We never quite leave work when we're at home, so the next day we have a hard time getting back to work when we're at work. We have no routine, no order to our days. We are never completely 'on' and never totally 'off.' So we dawdle on YouTube for twenty minutes at the office and then catch up on emails for forty minutes in front of the TV at home." (92)

"When thinking about busyness, people talk as if hard work is the problem. But we're not actually in danger of working too hard. We simply work hard at things in the wrong proportions. If you work eighty hours a week and never see your kids and never talk to your wife, people may call you a workaholic. And no doubt you're putting a lot of effort into your career. But you may not be working very hard at being a dad or being a husband or being a man after God's own heart." (98)

 "Effective love is rarely efficient. People take time. Relationships are messy. If we love others, how can we not be busy and burdened at least some of the time?" (105)

"Like many of you, I can look at my busy life and not know where to start. I wish I exercised more, and ate better, and kept track of my receipts, and programmed the presets in my car, and had my files in order, and knew where those little thingies for the basketball pump were, and in general didn't feel like I was walking the knife edge of craziness all the time. My temptation is to tackle everything at once. Or nothing at all. But the best plan is to start with Jesus' plan. ... We won't say no to more craziness until we can say yes to more Jesus. We will keep choosing dinner rolls over the bread of life. We will choose the fanfare of the world over the feet of Jesus. We will choose busyness over blessing. (114, 118)

The Question Is Not Whether You Will Die

I recently listened to John Piper's biographical message on the life of Adonirum Judson. It is a powerful message and I highly recommend the whole thing. His closing line is ringing in my ears and I hope it rings in yours. It begs for prayerful pondering.

The question is not whether you will die, but whether the death you die will bear much fruit.

John 12:24-25

Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.

Personal Testimony To What We Need When We Suffer

R.C. Sproul, Jr. recently lost both his wife and his daughter within 10 months of each other. In the midst of our series on suffering, this 20 minute interview is a worthwhile and very moving testimony to what we need when we suffer.



HT: JT

Racism And A Cross-Shaped Dagger

I read this excellent quote this morning in the devotional booklet we'll be giving out at our upcoming Men's Retreat.

Chris Anderson quotes J.D. Crowley on "Day 26" entitled "The Gospel Precludes Prejudice":

"The gospel drives a cross-shaped dagger into the heart of racism."

Amen! May King Jesus, killer of racism, continue to plunge this dagger into the heart of his church and raise blood-bought unity to life!

You Need to Know Why You Otherwise May Have Never Known Chris Norman

Let me highly recommend that you watch this video by Desiring God. It recounts how Michigan State star linebacker Chris Norman turned his back on a promising NFL career to follow Jesus. It is SO encouraging!



"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose." Jim Elliot

HT: JT